Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Blessing

The weather already changes from winter and now we are in the middle of spring and few more waiting here comes summer. What a lovely phase of seasons, the changes of colours, the wind, the smell of nature and the morning sunshine - the mist and the dew are like blessings in the sky. Everyday is such a promising new beginning - you may struggle a bit but fruit of your labor is the best way to enjoy with family.
Since I came here in the USA, the changes has been drastic from the culture shock to the crazy cold weather but I can say I'm still surviving. This is my tenth month here, married to the man I loved, trying to enjoy and cherish every single day because he is the man I prayed for...until one day a new blessing came. Shocked and teary eyed when my husband gave me the news I am pregnant. It was a complicated emotions coming from a first timer. I must admit I don't know if I'm happy or scared because I've never been pregnant before and the news was overwhelming. He asked me if I'm okay or happy or sad but I can't respond for few minutes while I'm still crying and trying to absorb everything. I told myself, why am I crying? Am I not happy? But underneath it all I know I'm scared because it's a new adventure in life and I can't imagine how it's going to be or what's going to happen or how can I handle everything? There are so many questions in my mind that I cannot answer, my heart is about to explode until I found myself in the arms of my husband. He knew that I am scared and I know he wants to comfort me. Yes of course, he is always there for me, he loves me and he knows his responsibility. So, why am I scared?
After a few days and weeks, I found myself a little bit okay with my new situation - I'm going to be a mother. But my complicated scenario is just about to start... There are changes in me that's almost impossible from the food I eat to the what I like or to what I wanna smell and to what I feel. I become a little confusing and complicated in my own opinion. Even me can't understand myself to what I want or what I want to do. I've heard so many stories about people going through their own pregnancies and not everyone is the same. The thing is - mine is one of those difficult one. I don't like the smell of cigar or cigarettes or some random stuff, I feel super cold most of the time, I used to eat almost everything but not anymore and I puke a lot. It's been 14 weeks now and my situation is almost the same everyday. There was a point in time were my husband brought me to the emergency room because I'm dehydrated from puking and I can't eat even I try to and it's hard. I don't know when my situation will going to change but the only thing I want is - I'm praying my baby will going to be okay. One time my friend say puking is a sign that the baby is healthy and deep inside I'm hoping for it.
I can say it's quite an adventure already but 6 more months before I can see my baby. My husband and most of people wants it to be a boy, I also like a baby boy but I'm open for the possibility to have a baby girl. But at the end of the day, as long as my baby is healthy - boy or girl is okay for me. I will love them the same. Have a great day everyone! God bless us all! πŸ‘ΆπŸ»